The Power of Intentional Living: How Small Changes Create Big Impact
Do you feel like you’re living on autopilot? You’re not alone and you aren’t stuck either. Intentional living is the key to taking back your power and designing a life you love living. Intentional living is the active choosing and creation of your life. It’s both a mentality and action. Instead of having a “let the chips fall where they may” attitude you say:
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
– William Ernest Henley, Invictus
Living with intention requires forethought, planning, purposeful choices and ultimately: small changes. Intentional living and lasting change are dependent on consistency and that means making small, manageable changes. If you’re going to build a life you love living you have to do so ‘brick by brick.’
The Myth of Big Leaps
There seems to be this glamourized idea of overhauling your entire life overnight and being a new person tomorrow. These big changes feel very productive, as if you are ‘“starting over” and this fresh start will create lasting change. Unfortunately, these major shifts uproot everything good and bad and leave you worse off than you started.
When I was in high school my sister and I shared a room and it always happened that around 10 o’clock at night I would get the itch to “get back on track” or “get my life together” and that typically started with rearranging my entire room. So, we’d stay up all night moving every piece of furniture, rearranging our bookshelves and wall decor.
The new arrangement would be fun for a little while but inevitably I’d get another itch and want to scrap the new arrangement and start over completely. This complete overhaul didn’t just apply to my room either. I had this mentality with everything; planning, routines, fitness, etc.
It wasn’t until my mid-20’s that I realized small changes have far more impact and also have staying power. Big changes require a lot of up front energy, all of the planning, changing and follow through use up your physical and mental energy at the beginning. This makes it incredibly difficult to stick with the change as you’re now tired and have to work extra hard to remember all the changes you’ve made.
In contrast, small changes require very little energy all the way around. A small change uses up a small amount of energy at the beginning and only asks for a little energy each time you complete the new task/habit/rhythm. These small changes also leave room for improvement and upgrade.
Let me give you my favorite example. For years I’ve struggled to stay consistent with any form of fitness. I tried weight lifting, cardio, pilates, yoga…. All of these things were big changes that I had a difficult time staying consistent with. When I started learning about small changes and how to micro-size your new habits to build consistency I applied it to my fitness problem. I set a new habit of 2 minutes of walking on my treadmill.
This may sound incredibly small and practically insignificant but that’s the point. The smaller you can make your new habit the more likely you are to complete it because you will have no excuse not to. When I tried to start new fitness routines that required 20+ minutes of my time it was incredibly easy to say “I don’t have time for that today.” but when the bar was just 2 minutes at any given point during my day; I just couldn’t argue with that.
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Now, these small habits won’t feel like they are doing anything at first and my 2 minutes on the treadmill certainly didn’t get me in peak physical condition. What it was doing was building my consistency muscle and setting a foundation for my fitness habit to build on. After about 6 weeks of consistently sticking to my daily 2 minute habit I upgraded: now the habit was 5 minutes. Again it seems small but put it this way; I just doubled the amount of time I’m focusing on fitness everyday.
I stuck with 5 minutes until I was sure my consistency muscle was ready for an upgrade and kept following this pattern. The habit building format of starting small and upgrading as you go ensures consistency and lasting change rather than the big bang of big change that fizzles out like a firework.
Keeping With Your Why
Defining your why. If you’ve been around very long at all you’ve heard me talk about your why and how important it is; how it’s your motivation and understanding it will help you to overcome obstacles on the path to living intentionally, to living the life you want. Your why is the behind the scenes of whatever it is you set out to do.
Going back to my fitness habit my why was “I want to live a long and fulfilled life, I want to stay physically fit so I never have to say ‘I can’t do that.’” This motivated me to stay consistent even when my 2 minute habit felt insignificant. I knew that ultimately my habit would grow and my why would be fulfilled.
Everyone’s why is different, it is unique to you and your desires. You have to define it, and it does you no good to lie to sound better. If your why behind building a business is to “create wealth so I can buy what I want without having to look at price tags” don’t try to make it sound more noble or change it to “build lasting wealth for my future family and leave a legacy.” If it’s not truly what is motivating you it won’t help you to craft something that sounds nice.
Your why should be in a rather raw form, there’s no need to polish it up. It’s just for you, it’s there to shine a light and encourage you along the way reminding you why you’re putting in the work and effort. Writing it down is very important. On any path or during any journey there will be challenges and hard times, having your why on paper solidifies it, makes it clear “THIS IS WHY I HAVE TO ENDURE.”
Where should you write it? Somewhere you can see it frequently. This could be your bathroom mirror, a sticky note on your work desk, on your phone wallpaper, on an index card in your wallet… Keep it in front of you. Keep it top of mind and clear this is what it’s all about.
Simple Shifts Get Practical
Intentional living starts with small changes. These simple shifts have a major impact in the long run. They foster consistency, they create lasting change and slowly but surely build the life you want to live. So where do you start?
Habits
Habits are the easiest way to start small. They are inherently small to begin with and are the building blocks of your daily life. One of my favorite quotes from the book Atomic Habits is:
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.” ― James Clear, Atomic Habits
Habits are the small actions you take to vote intentionally for the life you want to live. A few of my most valuable habits are: waking up early, drinking plenty of water, reading, journaling and skin care. Each of my habits started out small and have been repeatedly upgraded until they reached the level they are currently at. My journaling habit started as “write at least 1 sentence in your journal every day” and somedays all I wrote was “I have no idea what to write.”
My commitment to stay consistent with my tiny changes is how I was able to eventually write 3 books, keep up with this blog, and so many other accomplishments in my life. Check out my article 7 Habits to Boost Your Daily Life or Your Guide to a Positive Mindset: 5 Powerful Daily Habits to get some ideas for your own habits.
Rhythms
Rhythms are a more flexible form of routines. They offer room for life to happen and adjust to the shifts in your life rather than forcing them to fit into a predetermined routine. There are 2 key rhythms you may or may not be utilizing each day. The first is your morning rhythm.
What do you do after you wake up? If the answer is “I’m not sure” or “Whatever I have to that day” you’re missing out on an opportunity to intentionally design your day from the start. Your morning rhythm is your chance to set the tone for the day ahead, accomplish your most important tasks, and take time for yourself. This doesn’t require getting up 3 hours before anyone else or losing any sleep. (Though I will say waking up “early” can be very beneficial and has been in my own life)
Utilizing a morning rhythm is as simple as setting aside 10 minutes after you wake up for your intentionally chosen habits. (Find some ideas for your morning rhythm in this article). The same is true for your night rhythm. Your day actually starts the night before, what you do before bed sets the tone for your sleep and therefore the start of your next day. Making time to do a few preparation tasks for the next morning, intentionally creating space for peace and rest, then designing your environment for the best sleep sets you up for success the next day. (More in this article)
This might sound overwhelming, but remember we aren’t making big shifts. You shouldn’t go from no rhythms to both a night and morning rhythm that each take 20+ minutes. Start small. What is one habit you can start before you go to bed and one habit you start after you wake up? Maybe you set your clothes out for the next day before going to bed and as soon as you wake up you go outside to get fresh air and sunshine for 2 minutes.
Keep your rhythms simple, and build them slowly as you upgrade your habits and consistency.
Rest
Rest is integral to intentional living. You’ve been designed to need rest and refreshing. You can’t be “on” 24/7 and trying to do so only leads to overwhelm and burnout. Intentional living requires intentional rest, this means scheduling down time and what I like to call “peace pockets” into your day, week and month.
These “peace pockets” are small (are you surprised?) intentional activities that foster peace and rest. Things like: taking a walk, texting a friend, sipping tea in my backyard, listening to instrumental music… Peace pockets don’t have to be long and shouldn’t be complicated, instead they should be frequent and purposeful.
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Choosing these activities should be done with your unique personality and preferences in mind. One of my sisters loves art and drawing, for her spending 5 minutes doodling is relaxing and restful. This activity isn’t restful for me, it activates my creativity and I start getting ideas that I then feel the need to act on. Instead, I enjoy activities that force me to slow down. I love sitting in silence for a few minutes, my brain is always so overactive and I can feel overwhelmed by constant noise. This is restful for me but it may not be for you.
Find what works for you, find a few things that work for you and sprinkle them throughout your week. The more peace pockets you can include on your calendar the more the overall tone of your life will be peace and rest. Check out the Practical Rest Plan for a list of 50+ rest activity ideas.
Planning
“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” – Benjamin Franklin
Planning comes in all shapes and sizes. Planning intentionally will look different for everyone. The important thing is that you do plan. You can’t intentionally design the life you want if you aren’t making the plans. If you are allowing the circumstances of life to determine what happens next you are no longer in the driver’s seat and are not intentionally living.
Your plans don’t have to be big or overwhelming. You don’t have to plan every second of the next 10 years, but knowing what you’re going to have for dinner tonight or what you’re going to do this weekend is a great start. If you’re not sure where to start with planning, start here.
The Ripple Effect of Intentional Living
Intentional living is the active choosing and creation of your life and it starts with small changes. You have everything you need to design a life you love, to intentionally live your life and choose what you want. It takes one tiny shift to make a big lasting change in your life and you know what to do. You know what you want, why you want it and how to do it.
The only question left is when to start? The answer is now. It’s always now; there’s no reason to wait to intentionally live. You’re fully equipped and starting with small changes any way, why not start immediately?
