Living with Intentionality: Aligning with God's Purpose A Practical Guide to Making Purpose-Driven Decisions and Finding Lasting Fulfillment
by T.L. Farris
Have you ever had the sudden and overwhelming realization that you don’t like the life you’re living? It feels like nothing you’re doing makes any sense. You start to ask questions like:
- Why am I here?
- What am I doing?
- Am I making a difference?
- Is this it?
- What’s the point of my life?
Most likely, somewhere along the way, your life got away from you. It does for all of us. Our commitments, responsibilities, and the demands of our lives start to direct our decisions and those decisions end up determining the life we live. Not to be a Debbie Downer but when this happens it can feel pretty hopeless. Your daily life feels unfulfilled and seems utterly pointless. I know I’ve experienced this. Thankfully I found a way out and steps to take so I never get stuck in those wandering feelings again.
The Power of Intentionality
The key is intentionality. The reason we fall into those horrible feelings is because at some point something else took control of our lives. When we aren’t actively intentional, we become passive participants in our own lives, and life starts to happen to us instead of around us.
I’ve learned that a sign that I’m falling or have fallen into ‘passive participant syndrome’ (as I call it) is when I start to regularly say “we shall see how it goes…” It’s clear from this statement that I expect life to happen and that I won’t have any control of the situation. In this case, I’ve become a passive participant in my own life.
What I should be doing is intentionally making choices and statements about how I plan and/or expect things to go. I need to be active in the flow of my life. Intentionality is purposeful and deliberate; it is a decisive decision.
Lucky for us, we get a choice. We can choose to live with intention and purposefully design the lives we live. Just like we get to choose our mindset. Choosing to have a positive mindset is a powerful daily habit (more on this here) and choosing to live an intentional and fulfilling life is essential. But, just because we are actively choosing our lives doesn’t mean we are making the best choice. Intentionality is only half the story.
The Importance of Alignment
The other half is alignment. How are you making your decisions? What are your choices based on? Are they what’s truly best for you? When it comes to alignment, the biggest question is: What are you aligning with?
If your life is out of your control your choices are aligned with whatever is making the choices for you. This comes in the form of pressure from others, the need for money, the demands of your job, etc. Instead you should be making choices based on what will fulfill you and be based out of your God-given identity.
Your life should be aligned with two things:
- Your Identity
- Your Purpose
Both should act as a compass directing your intentionality as you actively choose the life you want to live. Feeling fulfilled, having impact, and living a good life isn’t about ‘following your joy’ or ‘doing what feels good.’ Instead, basing your decisions on your identity and purpose will ensure that you stay true to yourself and live fulfilled as you do what you were created to do.
Discovering Your God-Given Identity
This starts with knowing your God-given identity. I wrote a whole book on this, called The Kingdom Identity Crisis. When you were formed in your mother’s womb, you were given a unique, one-of-a-kind identity. You were chosen as a daughter of The Most High King and set apart as a world changer.
You are the only you there ever was or ever will be. No one else can see the world the way you do. No one else has experienced life the way you have. No one else is a reflection of The Father as you are. Genesis 1:27 tells us we are all created in the image of God. Each of us individually reflects a different aspect of our Father in Heaven. No one else reflects Him like you do.
Your identity is who you were individually created to be. It’s not about what you do, what titles you possess, or where you live. You can find pieces of your identity in scripture such as:
“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
– Colossians 3:12
“For through faith you are all sons of God in Christ Jesus.”
– Galatians 3:26
But discovering your identity comes through conversations with the One who gave it to you. Asking God:
- Who am I?
- Who did you create me to be?
- What is my identity?
Is the simplest way to discover your identity.
Understanding Your Unique Purpose
Just as you were given a unique individual identity, you’ve been given a purpose. Your life has meaning, and you have an assignment only you can complete.
There are some universal assignments we all share as children of God, like sharing the Gospel and the Hope of God. But the rest of your purpose is specific to you alone. Maybe your purpose is to train moms on how to create peaceful homes. Maybe it’s mentoring teenagers to equip them for their own purpose.
Right now, my purpose is to equip Christian women to overcome fear, discover their identity, and live in their purpose. I do this through my content such as my blog, my weekly Journey Notes, Social Media, books, etc. And making decisions with this mind means prioritizing time to write is essential. A large majority of my purpose is dependent on my writing. In order for me to feel fulfilled I have to make time to pursue my purpose. (If you are like me and have a hard time making time for your purpose check out my book Excuseless.)
Aligning Intentionally with Identity and Purpose
Your purpose and identity then determine your decision-making process. If you are to feel fulfilled, you must engage your purpose and live fully from your identity.
This typically looks like asking yourself a lot of reflective questions:
- Does this opportunity fit into my purpose?
- If I were living completely true to my identity, what choice would I make?
- Will this decision hinder my purpose in some way?
- Does this choice align with my values?
- How will this affect my family and those around me?
- Do I feel free to make this choice either way, or is there pressure? Why?
You don’t have to ask all of these questions with every decision. But ultimately, when you are intentionally choosing the life you want to live, all you really need to do is decide what option will best serve your life long-term.
Your identity is unchanging; you will always be you. Your purpose will fulfill your desire to make a difference. How you live is your choice—choose to live intentionally.
Practical Intentionality
So, how do you actually choose? It starts with regularly checking in with yourself. What is currently driving your decisions? Designate a specific time to audit your life. I like to do this every 3 months. I sit down with a pen and some paper and start writing. I reflect on the past months and look for patterns of thinking and feeling. Did I feel in control? Did I feel fulfilled? Did I feel as if I was living in my identity?
After journaling my reflections I then make a plan of action for the next three months. If I’ve been well aligned the past few months then great! I don’t need to make any major adjustments. I can simply make a plan for the events I know are coming and make any big decisions that need to be made for the next three months.
However, if I’ve gotten derailed at some point and need to realign then now is the time. I take a look at my current commitments, responsibilities, and relationships and evaluate what needs to change. Is it time to step back from anything? Do I need to invest more time into a relationship? What has been driving my decisions and what decisions need to be reversed?
Because I do this regularly I rarely need to make large overhauls on my life. Instead it’s typically small adjustments such as stopping weekly gym classes with a friend because I actually hate cycling classes and only agreed because she asked. Then I look at what I can add instead. Maybe that friend and I could go for a weekly hike instead since we both love hiking, and in the time I would have previously had the cycling class I can work on writing my next book instead. Now my commitments are focused on my purpose, and still prioritize my relationship just without forcing myself to continue something that didn’t align with my purpose or identity just because.
These check-ins are incredibly important and are a part of my larger productivity and life rhythms. If you are looking for help with creating your own productivity and life rhythms check out my article Create Your Simple Ultimate Productivity System: Key Pieces for Lasting Success.
